August 11 2010

Yes today is actually the 10Th. Tomorrow is a day of many birthdays. My daughter turns 18, my grandfather (Manduka) would be 109, my mom would be 91. i am not sure how common it is to have so many with the same birthday that are immediate family.

It was sultry here today, very Northeastern summer day with much heat sun and humidity after the rains. The evening now is cooler and dry-fallish. I walked over to the little park near my old home to visit my wishing pond. They have planted water lilies. no life that I could discern other than the putting about of the "water-boatmen". They are small insects that live in ponds. I remember as a child on the farm being fascinated by them, as only a 8 year old can be, in my pond that i have written so much about. As an old family tradition demands, I tossed a coin and made prayers for all those in my life I love or miss or both.

I rode shotgun today up west to Carl Campbell's salvage yard to assist my fishing buddy Glen Currie pick up his Toyota tercel. Carl put a rebuilt engine in it and it runs well. It was the same car that Shel had-perhaps Carl rebuilt her engine and put it in Glen's rig. I am still not sure why she never got it fixed, as it was a nice little car.

I spoke to my children today. Rhonda is taking them out tonight for a dinner in celebration of Alexis's birthday tomorrow. Alexis has to work and has no party planned. I was sad that I could not be there as 18 is an important day for anyone. Times slips away with amazing speed.

Joey even said that he may get a passport and take the 18 hour trip from Harrisburg up here. We will see. I remain rather entrenched here for the time being.

I am off to Carl's tomorrow for tires and a heater blower, and maybe a few other adjustments. they have taken great care of the old truck, but as winter looms there will be more to do.

today i was missing my Mary a bit. We shared the love of live music and movies, and good food. But the vast differences between us and the effects of her horrific childhood and relationships even I can not overcome. But I miss our romance. We had one last encounter last week at the wing. We kissed and talked in the Wing parking lot after the music. But I did not get the apology for her insults about my fishing pals that I needed to hear. So that at least for now, is that.

This is such a small town that there are absolutely no secrets. None. I have survived here by being affable and as generous as possible and that seems to work. My new social circle is both younger and more active. It includes males and females, which Mary would have not allowed. But i still miss the intimacy, as I have really been married or involved one way or another my entire adult life. So this is really new ground. For better or worse.

Hopefully I can make some beach time and get some fishing in this week. Summer is running down, trout wane and the mackerel arrive now.

It has been years since I had an amateur radio station. I am back on the air now and have simple chats with other hobbyists all over from South America to Russia, and California and Florida. Its a welcome distraction rooted in my childhood on the farm where I built my first transmitter from a Heathkit and strung my first home made wire antenna.

So that is August on the island for me. Live in the moment.

August on the Island

July was a truly wonderful month. It was the best summer month that I have experienced in many years. The dimming of unpleasant partings and sad memories yielded to fishing, camping, and all kinds of pool parties, barbeque's and new friends. Released from various restrictive relationships-of all kinds, I am finally able to enjoy my toys, truck, friends and fishing gear.

We caught plenty of trout this summer. Both the standard Brook Trout of my youth and its sweet white flesh, roasted on a fire, and the sea-run version of the same critter, whose flesh is firm pink and succulent.

The camping at mill river park "up West" is of note. My friend Dave and fished and camped in hard rain, by a roaring fire that was aided by my supply of military fire-starting pellets. We even played a round of golf. After my initial failure at the frustrating game, I really enjoyed it.

camping in my old yellow tent with the ancient blazer along side was a sure source of nostalgia. Yes I dwell too much upon that, but I bought that tent in Alaska 28 years ago. The truck is only slightly newer, still running almost as good as it did as I drove it off the lot in Maryland that summer 20 years ago.

I do miss my children It is wonderful that we have facebook and other computer resources to keep in touch. Perhaps someday they will visit me on this island. Someday, when they are free of what constrains them.

Finally I have another amateur radio station. It is still under construction here, but will provide diversion when fishing wains and the weather turns, which will happen very soon at this latitude.

The mackerel are showing up at the wharf downtown. I sure enjoy catching them as they come insure to attack schools of small bait fish, called capelin. Many here don't like to eat them, as they are rather oily and heavy fish. But I enjoy a good "feed" of island mackerel. Here they are boiled, fried, or baked. I am quite along when I cut a fresh chunk off an almost live fish and enjoy saba, or the Japanese sushi word for raw mackerel. Then I miss Shel, as she loved sushi. Far from the meat and potatoes of Colorado, I introduced her to Japanese food at the Fish Market restaurant in Phoenix. She became an avid devotee.

The weather will turn cooler in a few weeks. The fall will come swiftly, suddenly with a first snow flake on or about November 1. It was then that I usually left the island to struggle back "home". As to where to go this winter, I am just not sure now. Nothing compels yet to leave. That day will come-but I am surely in no hurry. Yes, a very difficult place to leave.