Rainy night after glorious days

Cool rain now falls and the splatters make music along my leaky gutters. It has been a great stretch of days that I have spent with friends at Chelton beach. The place is one of those places.
There I cooked hot dogs and hamburgers, fries and sold ice cream at the little canteen there. That was the summer that Shel worked there and I went with her there to help out and enjoy the beach. That was the summer of 2007. In those days, Shel and I still lived together off and on between her various "relationships", always some kind of despiration, a feeling that I have never known. I didn't mind so much, as we were getting along as well as could be expected and I knew one way or the other our time together was concluding. I still enjoyed immensely, even the fights. She became my oldest daughter at the end.

She had to find an islander to eventually marry to stay here, as she knew my financial support had to end. I got her here, that was good enough. I transported her so she could date, which almost destroyed my poor truck. Funding ended, wife GONE.

Her pal Elwood who works at the park recognized me right away. He had helped Shel get her little car, and he asked about her. I told him that we were finally divorced in January this year, and that she had gone home to Colorado and family. He is a very nice, awfully poor man with an ill wife.

So now days pass without a concern that Mary will be calling, or wondering where I am. In a final conflict, she left in a huff Friday night mad that I had met my fishing buddies for a beer without telling her. Everyone says that I am better off, but after 2 years I do miss her many positive attributes. I am also very glad to lose the bad ones. The gulf of backgrounds was just too wide and we had been pushing it for months-but I will miss my Mary. Very much.

Perhaps some fishing this week and more swimming in the very warm sea. Its been an amazing July thus far. Summer is so short here each warm sunny day is a treasure. A far cry from Phoenix, where cloudless skies may persist for months.

I ordered a bunch of amateur radio equipment to replace the station that I sold here long ago to help Shel with her Colorado trip. It may help the long nights pass, talking to people around the word on shortwave.

My social circle evolves and most here have forgotten that I am not an islander. My children are very busy, so I may as well stay until I must leave, for whatever reason.

My little place here is humble, but convenient. I watch the property and show the vacant units as a favour to the landlord. Its his first property and he is a nice, hard working young man. His father saved my life in February, finding me very ill and non-responsive in my old apartment.

This is a very intimate place. A very small town with all the good and bad that that means. For now its home.

For today.

July 13 2010

Well I heard from a very dear old friend today. She isn't very happy with me and perhaps deservedly so. I hope that we can reconnect without hostility. In any case I went up west today and went fishing near O'Leary. Then off to the West Cape beach and lighthouse. I took a great swim in the warm salt water and missed my old friend.

There was a young man selling fish on the road in O'Leary. I bought scallops and some flounder that I just ate. Excellent.

The Lobster Carnival is in full tilt right by my humble abode. I walked over and took some pictures that I put on face book. A warm breezy lovely evening.

But my heart is empty. I do miss all of the travels and wealth of earlier years. And my exquisite young wife. In any case, I can think of no place better to spent a summer.

I have extreme faith as my mother said..."Walk as if you are hand in hand with God, and all things within you shall arrange to be well".

I sure miss her, and my sister.

A Wonderful Sunday Evening

Well I always write about the fishing or the beach. If I get much more tan I will probably get deported.What a great weekend. There was beach, dance, and some decent foods to enjoy. I must admit that I am very moved by the visit at my humble dump by a new friend. We had planned to watch movies. This amazing person was walking down Greenwood Drive to see me in the pouring rain. I decided that it was unacceptable and I found my friend in my old truck , in rain-gear walking to me. I brought her here.

We came back here to my place to watch the movies that my friend selected. Of course, my junk TV died during this....not being too embarrassed, we went out to buy a new TV.Well its Sunday and everything was closed.

We came back after the rain,,and talked. And talked. My friend can talk. I love it..I miss that.
But we played with the computer and talked about family faith and our mutual losses. We shared pictures and some painful memories.

It was a wonderful time time. But we live in a place that we have to be very cautious, as people talk here.

With a better TV I hope we can have another movie night. And frankly, I don't care what people say about it.

On into summer on the beach

July comes to the island with warm breezes and the warming waters of the Northumberland Strait. It was nice to take a swim in the salt today. The fourth of July, uncelebrated here, on my mind. We had Canada Day here on the first, with fireworks and parties abounding. A few friends came over and we ate chicken and watched the fireworks. That was a first for me as I come out of the solitude and the angst of dealing with the loss of my sister and wife only a short time ago.

Mary and I went to supper at Gentleman Jim-I was in a steak mood. I took her to our beach here by my place and then to Linkletter Park. It was warm and beautiful as I parked the old truck right on the shore and kissed her. Sundays with Mary.

I did talk to my daughter a while on face book. She is smart, strong and almost too beautiful. My son is working almost constantly and involved with his friends and his music so I hear from him less. I miss him a lot, but I now know how my mother must have felt as I went off into life and had less and less contact. I sure miss my parents and unexpectedly , my sister.

So here i am along Green's Shore waiting to see what happens. Something will..it always does.

facebook is keeping me in touch with friends long absent. i enjoy that medium...the only real way I seem to be able to talk to my children.

Mary was warm, affectionate, and wonderful to be with this weekend. Time moves forward and I think I shall remain here at least for now. After all, I am getting a great tan, the old truck still runs as new, and it is home. Where I hang my hat.

Fishing as June ends

Yes now it almost Canada Day which is July 1. It is a Canadian version of the US 4Th of July. There will be fireworks and a big party down at the bay walk (boardwalk) and beach 1 block from where I pen this. Perhaps this year it will be a bit warmer and there will be less mosquito's.

I went fishing with my friend Dave Elliot on Saturday (yesterday). First I managed to get lost trying to take the back roads to Coleman, about 30 miles West of Summerside. I had an appointment to meet and look at a small house there which I thought would make a nice fishing camp.It was pretty rough. My pal Dave is a master builder and carpenter and thought it was not a good idea, so we went to the legion in O'Leary. O'Leary is a nearly dead potato producing and processing town there that used to be a busy place. Both Dave and my friend Glen grew up there.

It is quaint as towns on the West Virginia panhandle. There is even a old store, closed, that has the old merchandise still in the window. A quaint old building with apartments above. Mary was quite upset that I would make such bold decisions without her approval, and we have been distant since Saturday night. She has not returned my phone calls and she went to the club last night and I stayed at the wing. It may be simple miscommunication or as Dave says, I am just a "bugger". The punishments aside, it was a great sunny weekend with big tides and a full moon. The fish seem to respond to that. I caught 4 nice trout near Coleman and just ate them with coleslaw and potato salad. Fishing and cooking these wild brook trout, I miss my son and the mountains streams of Pennsylvania (and Arizona) catching and cooking these amazing natural jewels.

Sundays always bring some sadness to me. Things close early and alone I am left to recollect, write here, and consider a future where it may be.

Its hard to beat a place to live on a great beach, wild trout, and eager young ladies. But I miss my older girl and during my revelries and travels, I miss Shel. Mostly I miss my kids. I speak to my daughter almost daily. She is directed and well balanced. Joey is very busy and lives a hectic life of some trepidation like his mother. I think they will both be well.

I am not so sure about me. But a summer of sun burn and fishing looms ahead. Just about 2 months before the weather turns back to the pre-autumn chill and rains leading to a sub-arctic winter that has to be felt to really know. As always to stay or go. At least for now I shall remain.
After all over staying a welcome is my speciality, and I now have a real social circle, flawed, but real acceptance among my little towns community.

It cannot continue forever and i am awful at endings. But sun and trout....I have seen much worse.

Joe Manduke Images

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First Day of Summer in a Prescribed Paradise

So summer arrived at 8 something here on the coast of North America that's sees it first. So be it. My evening was listening to blue grass music as its called here at our legion. I feel there among the seniors (I am close to the youngest participant) that I am among my Hatfield family, long lost, along some holla on the Tug Fork of the Big Sandy in West Virginia. Know that I only visited Williamson once, to visit the family cemetery. There Anse Hatfield, a hero of the Confederacy stands tall in marble along Mate Creek. Yes, Matewan fame. He was either my GGGrandad or Uncle depending on who slept with whom. In any case I was born dead-eyed shooting a revolver, so maybe there is something to the DNA thing.

My mom, Aunt and grand mom only talked in their hidden language among us....they would use certain letters to create whole words, for example "Fuff A Cause EE". Which meant face "face". Later I learned that during the feud they had to be careful about what they said. I think that secret way of talk among the Hatfield clan has never been said before...but I won't say it all...

Here the spring peepers of my youth on the streams are still singing. At this latitude it has just broken dark and its almost 10PM.

The trout fishing here on the island is pretty good. There are decent sea-run brook trout of the same type I caught with my father and son in the streams of Pennsylvania. When they go into the sea hey grow fatter and take on a silver tone. The little bright dots of blue-ringed red gone and bellies fat from a time in the salt. They are profound.

Here, I am completely "islandized". I am a member of the social clubs and accepted by nearly all the folks that considered me an off-lander and even a "Yankee". Its a gentle strain of people who crave the world across the ferry or the bridge but just can't go. Many have left for work in the Alberta tar sands or even the states. Those that remain lust for the annual Florida or Las Vegas vacation. My former and lovely young wife has either been deported for working without a visa or simply disappeared.

A fishing friend or mine, who has shown me great great trout streams (Up West-meaning anywhere West of our little town) works at the potato plant. He tells me that his job is to use water jets and flumes to get the crop into the hoppers. He works second shift sorting potatoes in a stark warehouse here. His name is Glen. His life is also an abject tradgedy but he is one of the few lucky enough to have a job, and looks forward to our fishing trips to his home town up West near O'Leary. There are some serious sea-trout to be caught.

My relationship with my island girl continues. She is stoic from a truly horrible childhood of parental loss, no running water, and struggling here in the 1950's. I am talking incest, physical attack, and rural horror.

Such a run from my personal background. When we go out she makes her face and hair flawless, trying to achieve a recognition for beauty that she has never known. She is Mary, the lady I see here. She is as far from Shel or a desert sunrise as a human could be, but she is my Mary.


Here as a retiree the days come and go. The tourists are starting to arrive and the hopeless little shops are opening. A place of real beauty-but one has to stay here to find it. Cape Breton is more rugged and prettier. Nova Scotia has Halifax and the great Eastern shore and the Annapolis Valley. New Brunswick, our "drive through province" has the Bay of Fundy and the Miramachi. And don't consider the awful "Magnetic Hill".

I have few complaints but I do miss my family and my desert-oddly enough. But the sun shines and my skin tans under a maritime sun by my abode alone along the beach.

Its what I wanted. No real financial worries, no relationship issues and a place to fish...a truck that will take me anywhere. I can see the point lighthouse from my home.

Still...I feel a missing..a longing..is this it?

My mom used to ask me during my business and consulting days-"What am I running from".

Maybe I can get out of block and finally write the story. Now that most of the pain is settling, and I actually have something to say.

OK-Maybe not totally "islandized". My gorgeous French-speaking dental hygienist said to me at the end of picking my teeth last week..."Your from the states!" Accent. I am working on it. Its easier to learn Canadian inflection than Russian when I went there so long ago on a UN mission.

She also said that she has rarely seen anyone my age here that HAD all of his original teeth...ok, I have one gold crown.