Up West and Real Work

So since I met the "Doctor" of organic landscaping Germain Fougere from the Magdalen Islands, I have been involved in a new and fascinating business venture. Involved originally only to set-up a web site and be a general business and entrepreneurship consultant, I am now actually getting my soft hands dirty.

We take a similar trip in the big Ford Diesel truck of "Fougere Organic Landscaping" about twice a week. Again today we went to the "Old Man's", a very pious anglophone gentleman named Loren near Richmond. Loren has clear bright intelligent blue eyes and is nearly deaf. Fougere has been storing equipment and supplies there. We loaded the trailer with what I imagine was close to a ton of plants, rocks, gardening stuff, shells, and one very heavy ( about 600 pounds) cast iron crusher. It had been a while since I worked that hard and I felt alive again. Loren lives in a homemade hut that is sinking into the boggy soil. It is filled with interesting but valueless things accumulated over his long life. He gave me two religious books, one called"I Need A Miracle" by Pastor Benny Hinn. I think he knew exactly what I needed. He had preached as a young man in Appalachia. I was somewhat envious, perhaps the smallest of my sins to date.

He carves amazing images of geese from huge pieces of wood and carefully paints them as to life. His wood stove is rusting through the floor. He has no insurance as his home is not "insurable". His phone was cut off. The company putting the power lines from Summerside to North Cape's new windfarm is coming across Loren's fallow sad land. He hopes they will pay a fair price for the easement. Maybe 6000 dollars. Perhaps this 85 year old man will not have to freeze alone in the cold this long and soon to arrive sub-arctic winter. His son distant and somewhat of an ass I am told, away in the "real world" and business.

It was a great clear sunny day. The sea was beautiful up west along the "lighthouse trail", route 11. We stopped as always to see Fougere's and now my friend Danielle. We need a motor and PTO ( Power Take Off) to run the lobster shell crushing machine. They talked Acadian, which I am starting to get a bit of, thanks little to my long forgotten high school Parisian French.

We then stopped at Manny's place to drop the trailer we will unload tomorrow. Manny is a soulful, sorrowful outwardly cheerful man, an oyster fisherman who built his own solid boat and at 55 could probably pick me up at 180 pounds like a feather. It was a great cold night, the milky way bright along with the planet Jupiter embedded in it like a bright white luminous gem. Manny lives on a neat little farm near his oyster beds in the Northumberland Strait. The farm is very neat and cozy and Manny is one of those people you instantly knew if you had to leave a thousand dollars cash with him to hold, it would be there when you return. He gets a few crates of oysters each day after 10 hours of back breaking work raking the bottom of the sea in churning swells under blistering sun or freezing winds.

Manny gets about 50 dollars a crate for his oysters. The shells are infested with shell worms this year. They cut tiny perfect holes in the shells but don't harm the delicious meat inside. Despite that, only one oyster buyer on the island will buy Manny's "ugly" oysters. Oddly enough its the oyster wholesaler across the way from George and Brenda Henderson's cottage in Freeland. That is where Shel and I stayed long ago when we were first coming here each summer. Long ago, so it seems, when I picked the wild mushrooms in George's little pine forest and steamed them with edible jewels from the sea (to the locals terror and amazement). I had learned, being self-taught, mushroom collecting in the high pine and aspen mountain forests of Arizona. Also dimming into that past.

He grows nice tomatoes and a few other things in a small garden. He shared tomatoes with us-a real luxury this far north when the incredibly short growing season ends. Manny is finalizing a divorce after 10 years with the artist wife who his feelings for are well concealed but to a fellow sufferer glow in that slight moistening of eye with a glance towards her primitive oils hanging on the old wall, or with a little deepening of the fisherman's sun and wind-worn brow. The artist wife. How well I know.

Manny is quite the artist himself. He crafts beautiful decorative items from driftwood and large, ancient white oyster shells. He built a little gift shop near the road that is quite a nice cottage in its own right, matching the perfect yellow Victorian farmhouse. He cries inside. Artist wife gone and the tourists far and few between. Gone now until summer returns-a truly distant and abstract thought. As goes the artist wife.

I know I'll be sore tomorrow-that's OK. No news from Shel, but I got a nice email from my son. Tomorrow we unload the ton of stuff and I hope my back holds out. Then to the beach for seaweed collection to make the fertilizer product.

You really never know whats around the next corner. I just wish it was spring instead of fall, as winter looms and I have decisions to make about my home and life on PEI. Quite a change in paradigm in a couple weeks. Maybe work therapy is what I need. I am really back in the environmental field in a very physical way. I also obtained oyster shell chemistry data for product labelling. Fougere needs my patent and trademark help too, but that comes later as orders are filled and I create an Internet presence. Its pretty exciting.

I have my desk work, legal work, computer, and even outdoor physical labour in one of the most beautiful places on earth. How about that? Retirement? Maybe, but it beats the button-downs and smog and office politics of the big city, in the "real world".

Sundays with Mary and the PEI "question"

So the first day of autumn is here. The day started cool, breezy and cloudy. By evening the sky cleared and it warmed the quiet town ever so slightly. Last night was my usual Saturday night at the "wing" as the air force legion hall is called here. I guess to distinguish it from the regular Canadian Forces "legion" that it sits beside. I met my friends Mary, Eva and her husband. Judy, Joan, and Rebe didn't show last night. There may have been a band elsewhere, and they are not big fans of Karaoke. Nor am I, but there are a few good singers and its better than sitting in my place waiting for emails from Shel or Joey. We sip water and dance rather badly I think. The attitude and music the very same as my nights spent in small taverns deep in the mountains of Appalachia during my years on the road.

Mary has become my special friend, after my very short relationship with Judy. Mary is a mature woman, tall with dark curly hair. She has lived her whole life on the island, born up the road a few miles in St. Eleanor's. She left the island once many years ago to go to her nephews wedding, I think, in Brampton, Ontario.

Her life has been a typical island, if not maritime tragedy. Her abusive mother kept her from her father who died, like mine, when she was 15. After a marriage that left her unable to remarry save she lose her support, she has had several variously awful romances. The last was with a trucker who was seemingly seeing another woman the whole time, 15 months, he was with her. This story is repeated in some form or another by almost everyone I meet here.

Mary and I dance and have been somewhat cuddly and close on the dance floor. We "waltz" as they call any dance to a slow song here, even when its rock and roll twist music. We often stay in embrace after the music stops and the dance floor empties-to the astonishment of everyone. Its good in some ways, but I doubt Ill get another date at the wing as I seem "taken". But it is a pure friendship and I suspect it will remain so.

I meet Mary Sundays and we talk for hours about family issues, good, bad, and ugly. Finding some comfort mutually in trying to discover why our relationships are so failed. It is quite sad. But the talks help. Today I showed her photos from my past lives-the big house, kids as babies playing at the New Jersey shore. My airplane, Mercedes, Chimney house-my red 'vette convertible with Shel lounging on the hood seductively somewhere in the mountain west years ago.

These are things as alien to her as a walk on the surface of Mars. I am attracted to her simplicity, lack of bitterness, and good church-going heart. Hours past and I just got home a bit ago. I missed my Sunday call to Joey as I had lost track of time. We sat today at the yacht club, as the mall was closed this Sunday, as it will be now as the tourists are gone away home, back to school, jobs, and the reality of the outside world.

One thing we discuss is my leaving PEI. Forever? For a month? Never? She overflowed like a happy teenager at a prom when I suggested I may not leave at all. It breaks my heart as I fear I may have to break hers. She won't be the only lady here that will miss me. And I will miss each and everyone of them.

No news today from my wayward Shel. Divorce now is imminent and I will have to file the papers soon. Shel wouldn't be able to, and she seems to think that we just go to the courthouse and sign a paper. It is , of course, more complex. I find the whole process distasteful and although I love my island, all those times I could have just stayed in PA with the kids makes me feel embarrassed. You see, I had three chances to stay in PA and chose each time to return to the island. Either to be with Shel or to try and get her to come home. As recently as August 5th, Shel was moving back in with me and/or going to Calgary with me. But no. It didn't happen.

So the three years I have been here seem a bit wasted. I mean that I could have had a little time with the kids as kids. But they have grown up, suddenly while I was here trying in vain to recapture a marriage that as I realize now was over in 2003. I guess.

I read Shel's journals from the 90's and she tells page by page of he unending love for me. Well it seems ended. One way or the other I must escape that bind. A new life-here on the island of dreams and sorrows, or back in harsh reality down south, in the states, my home home in Harrisburg to be near my beloved children.

Mail from an old friend, associate, and student at HTS

Please don't conclude that I believe everything Brian Feeney or Rhonda ever said. LOL

I acknowledge that you were among the very first people to advance the very same environmental assessment protocols in use today. In fact, our company's Phase I ESA uses a checklist very similar to the one HTS used in the late 1980s. I might have an old HTS Phase I ESA somewhere around. I never present myself as self-educated in this work; anyone ever asks, I was originally trained by you. When I say this, it actually drives Roni nuts. Many Manduke-isms that were true remain true today. Sometimes I tell the staff things even today that I recall you saying to the staff almost 20-years ago.

I might be a harsh critic, but I am also a fierce defender of yours. I gave you superior recommendations for your job interviews.

I am still wondering why you aren't at the helm of one the largest ESA companies in the US. Someday I might figure that one out.

Jim G.

Mail from my fine son

Dad,

Keep enjoying your fish. You sound a little lonely up there. I was thinking that if you came down we might not see each other that much but it would certainly be more than it is now. I've been seeing lots of homes for rent around here. There are definently places to stay. Even a place by the library caught my eye. Well, life has been good. Beautiful down here. Starting to cool off a little though. Been hearing about more hurricanes so I expect some rain. Everyone seems ok. Lexi got a job at Party City (costume place), started Monday. She enjoys it. It's cool. Mom transferred to another Dept. too. She also enjoys it. I still work at YP but I lowered my hours and have been enjoying it more lately. You would be proud, I'm attending church with Andrea and her folks now. There is a sermon and a parenting class I'm taking with her. I've been getting a great deal of postive messages lately from professors, the pastor and even my therapist. I'm trying to take your advice and live in the moment. Really happy at the moment. I'm looking forward to going fishing ,Star Trek, and good conversation again. Seeya dad. Love,Joey-----Original Message-----From: joe manduke To: Joey Sent: Tue, 9 Sep 2008 4:43 pmSubject: Tuesday Sept 9
Bink,

Just an update note-I won't call you until Friday or Sunday if you are around. Lots of rain here in and out as summer ends. The tall (sailing) ships are in town this week along with a parasailing meet-so big ships by where I fished docked-kinda cool.

I guess I said Shelly is off to Charlottetown to start her new life-obviously done in many ways so she can start a new life away from our town here. She is doing well and I guess I will just have to be happy with her friendship, if that survives-I hope so. OH, she sends her regards and love to you both..it is all exceptionally unfortunate and I have had some dark days pal, but it is time to try to come home. Any help you can offer I humbly accept.

Fishing has been slow due to wind and tides. But I am still munching on fish I have frozen. I have a french speaking guy, a fisherman from islands north of here who is staying with me until he gets his business going. Its ok but his english is weak and I am totally immersed in french for the moment-lol.

So there it is. The truck still needs work but I am confident it will come home. November 3rd is prob my departure day as most practical-we will see. Check the army location near the house and ask if they could help me for a month or so after this imbroglio-lol You can prob just stop by.

I am homesick as hell now, and want to try and make this happen as painfree as possible...any thoughts are appreciated...I know..just drive away..lol

Love you much

Dad

Finding a conclusion

Just a short note. As a writer I really wanted some dramatic conclusion to my biography. The potential journey to Calgary with Shel for example, which never happened. Or her return to Summerside to make up and try and rebuild our lives. Never happened.

Now she is off to Char'town and I remain fishing mackerel and writing these snippets. Not so much drama. Perhaps my time with some of my new Arcadian friends will add spice. Then I am almost sure now that I return to home to assist my children and sister. What an experience! Almost 4 years retired at age 51-living here and the travels-not too shabby. Sorry, but I have had a blast.

Especially this summer in Banff, Lake Louise, and with my son at special family places herein written. Of course there have been some hard times being retired. Greatly reduced income. Avoidance of buying unnecessary material things. People looking askance at a 50 year old retiree who has really been retired much longer than 4 years. Go figure?

A good friend-actually someone I trained in the environmental field said that since I live on a remote island in a foreign country, write poetry, and go on about my love of Michelle, that I am now persona non grata in an industry I helped build. So be it. If that is the colourless case of my fellow engineers and scientists (which I do not fully buy) then I shall remain a retired writer and fisherman and let them all be envious.

Labour Day 2008

So the end of summer finally on the island. Of course there will be a few more warm days. But in weeks the leaves will change and fall away. A bright red carpet of maple leaves will give way to perhaps again incredible snow piles and the driving winter winds-for 6 months. It sure makes me think of a return to Arizona at this time of year. Shel is off to Charlottetown soon to work in the "Best of PEI" store. She is very excited and will find a place to live there.

Her cottage will be closed in two weeks and she said she may move in here again for a time. That is fine, as I miss her company.
The kids are doing well. Alexis is looking for a part-time job now that she is 16, and Joey seems to be enjoying college.
My sister still wants to visit me here-but the two round trips seems daunting now, and she is hard to predict.

Joey wants me back for Christmas and to just move back to PA. This is now finally a real possibility at long last. It is clear, at least today. that Shel will not be coming home. I was amazed when she said she would be going with me to Calgary when I went back to work. When that didn't come through and Shel decided not to move back in here in Summerside I was pretty crushed. So these next two weeks will assist me in rendering a decision as to stay or go from the Island. It will be tough in any case and I may just decide one more winter here will be fine.

I have been fishing at the wharf almost everyday day. Its raining today and I was going to go but the truck is pretty moisture sensitive and i have to wait for drying weather now.
People have instructed me on Mackerel preparation and I have enjoyed the endless supply of fresh fish.

It is amazingly quiet today. I will probably take a walk in the rain down to the closest pier and take in the storm over the harbour. No matter what I will miss this place as home, but with waning Shel and a needy family, perhaps time along the Yellow Breeches is long over due.

Sunny day after 3 weeks of rain

Finally the sun appeared in Summerside today. I have been fishing for mackerel at the city pier. It was nice to sit out in the rain yesterday and fish. It reminded me of a cool spring day during Pennsylvania trout season on the Yellow Breeches long ago.

I had thought Shel would be moving back in after her job at Frenchy's in Borden ended in the fall. But she did get a job at the "Best of PEI" store in Char'Town starting September 8. She lost her purse and all of her ID during her move from Elayne Lord's place in Cape Traverse. I attempted to assist her in getting another drivers licence. but there are Arizona paperwork problems and I may have to take Shel to Halifax to resolve them.

Since nothing seems to be coming out of my Canadian job search, I am looking south again. I did enjoy my trip to Calgary and my short visit to Banff and Lake Louise. I am short listed on an Army job at the Red River Depot-but I am not sure about Texas.

In talking with the kids it may be time to bid goodbye to my place on PEI and go back to Pennsylvania. I know Joey would like that, and with no roommate again this winter, a long period of frozen ocean seems less appealing than ever.

It would be nice to go to Halifax with Shel. Maybe we can stop by our Port Dufferin house and share that moment one last time. I am sure the path will be shown to me, but it seems my time here with Shel is finally ending. It was my best effort in something I felt was most important for us both. Some battles cannot be won, no matter how true the intentions.

The weather looks good for a while now after 3 weeks of gloom and cool winds. The fish are in and the sun warm. If this is my last summer on the island, I want to make it as good as I can. The issues and realities of family down south are somewhat daunting after this idyll. But I have to do what is best now for Joey, Alexis, and my sister.

Sunset

I see nothing as the golden sunset over the harbor of my exile paradise. So the job out west seems as it willl take a w hile. I was unhappy that my Shel didn't come into today from Borden. I danced ny heart out with some truly athletic ladies-quite happpy I can still move with them. My own former athletic abilities helped

July 19, 1979

Nice today, warm and sunny. In the morning Ann came over and I took her back to the train. Now I will work on her car for a while. Dave and I got parts at the Penn Jersey. Later, we went with his friend Ed to Jersey to pick up a race car frame.

We stopped to eat on the way back. Carol and her sister took their mother to the doctor tonight. We all took a late ride to get gas in the mustang.

Modern note:
I think gas was about 40 cents a gallon then.The supply would last forever and always be cheap. There was an OPEC oil embargo some years before-which turned out to be prophesy. AH-the memories of youth!

Pretty typical summer day in the 70's. Ann was a classmate of mine from Temple Geology. She liked me and I worked on her 1967 mustang coupe. Being totally loyal to Carol, I never was with Ann. Her car was later stolen and never recovered.

Rainy Saturday

Alexis in Harrisburg June 2008


I am sure it is time to place a new entry here. Although I do have my audio recording back, and as usual have stopped writing in my paper journals. It can be a bit discouraging, having tens of thousands of words to transcribe from old text-letters, journals, manuscripts unfinished and finished. I have felt that all the paper will become obsolete-or already has.

The only really permanents records will be left on-line, on sites such as this. So, as a painfully slow typist you see my dilemma!

I have had some good chats with the kids. Both really want to move in with me. But this is impractical as I am in Canada and they have school duties down south. My relationship with Shel remains strained. We were doing fine, but have degraded due to silly arguments and bad tempers over the past few weeks.

It seems my work future may be Alberta. The money is good and there are lots of things to clean-up and investigate. If nothing seems appropriate, it may be that with great sadness I may have to leave my island to be closer to the children, who now are really missing dad. The decision will be made quite soon I think.

Tourist season is in bloom here and its been quite warm The harbour water is now bathtub warm and although shallow makes for a nice swim only a short walk away. How does one leave such a place. Only family and money issues can do that. Otherwise it would be madness to leave here.

So pressures mount and decisions must be made. In the mean time I will try to continue writing, although in an awful slump now, and visit the beach. Life could be much worse than that.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Son and daughter June 2008 at Bradley Drive House, Harrisburg, PA

It has only been a week after my last entry here. The week seems like a short lifetime as so much has happened during this eventful period. First, let me say it was a glorious summer day here on the island paradise. I grow to appreciate a life here on PEI more, especially when I leave it. I flew to Vancouver on Sunday to discuss some environmental opportunities with an excellent firm there. I stayed at the "Terminal Club". and was treated professionally and cordially.

The CEO is a really nice, truly self-made man of simple roots on the prairie.

They need an office administrator and salesman for a planned office in Saskatoon, in support of

a large mining project in the potash deposits. Not really my area of expertise, but having dealt with mining issues in Arizona, and even Pennsylvania long ago, I have no fear of the work. In fact, its a great upside potential and the future for now is in work based in the rapidly increasing price of commodities like potash for fertilizer and oil.

I flew on Westjet from Char'town to Vancouver, with a brief stop at Toronto's Pearson airport. PEI is a real garden from the air. It was nice to see the snow-capped Rockies and the coastal range of BC. I had never flown coast to coast in Canada before. It was my first flight entirely within my adopted country. If the job is a go, I will need a work visa. I will stay at the company apartment in Vancouver for training, and perhaps write a corporate health and safety manual, then go to Saskatoon to a new life and a new world. If not, I will continue to interview, and enjoy the island until my final destination for this cycle is demonstrated.

I tried to call the kids but got no answer today. Shel cancelled our dinner date, as it was her bosses birthday. I have fallen low on her long list of more important social priorities. So be it. I told her she can visit me in Vancouver, or Saskatoon, and she seemed excited. She is very much stranded on the island. I have also felt that way, but the trip and camping with son helped, and our dinner with Alexis and Katie.

I sent a postcard and letter to my sister from BC. She is probably still waiting for me to take her to Island Beach. Perhaps I can still do that if I can take a break this summer. In any case, I worked all day today sending the BC company documents about references and credentials. I realize I have lost touch with some close friends, co-workers and old bosses over the years. I am seeking my old mentor Dr. Lane Schultz from Dunn Geoscience days as a reference. So many people are disappeared or even dead. I supplied Dan Salzler as a reference. We worked together in various capacities for years and he has always been a good job reference for me, and a loyal friend.

Jim Gossweiler, my real true apprentice, Steve Rose, and Leigh Floyd are the remaining references I have used. The hiring manager wanted names of old managers, which can be a challenge when you have been self employed or a sub-contractor to a nameless Army unit for so many years.

The position is really almost the perfect one. The Halifax job was good too, but I think the job out west has better potential.

I was pretty lucky on confirming my credentials and getting them to BC today, even though most are misplaced or lost in the 2 moves. The folks at AIPG, Nevada, and Alaska all helped, knew me, and submitted confirmation. With hope Ill get an offer this week and plan on closing this place up and moving to Vancouver for the duration. Otherwise on the island I stay and continue the search...all in God's hands now.

My little audio recorder broke, so I will have to get another one next week. I miss having that and making the audio diary entries. I oft wonder who will ever listen to them anyway. I do find it useful to go back over the years, hear my tone and concerns, the growth, pains, and triumphs. But it does force me to write more. And maybe now I can finish the biography with a good conclusion, a full circle story ending with my son a man in college, and his father being there, and there for his sister. I can only hope!

June 18, 2008 Wednesday

Cool and drizzly today, with a little weak lightning. As last year, June is a cool gray month on the island of unused beaches.

I am actually feeling a bit guilty about not starting to write the entire tale of my holiday fishing and camping with my son. The project will require much more time and inspiration than I have right now. My trip notes survive, although sparser than I had hoped. A time in Appalachia, reliving my own youth. I mean the trip we took was a representation of my trips long ago, rod in trunk seeking fishing places and the colour of ruralia. We accomplished that. But the story begs far deeper for both of us in its revelations. The simplicity of the camp, stream, my old truck-camp food. Swimming the broad river, and fresh trout for a tailgate dinner in a remote place. It will wait a few days more to be told, as business looms.

I am flying to Vancouver Sunday to meet with a group that may need my skills in their enterprise. Two days in a new city, on a new harbour, far from this home. But yet not that unfamiliar, as my times in Seattle and San Francisco I suspect similar. We will see.

Talked with David at the Air force wing a long time tonight about the states and Canada. He is a retired teacher, and had many insights. We discussed the arcane "Aroostook" War. The conflict involving the Maine border long ago.

It was pizza day here, and I had many phone calls. It seems my draw into the world of commodity related environmental issues is where I am going. Well, its a new world. A lot of the problems I solved as a young man seem to be in good hands with the younger generation. I should be exuberant at the new chance-a new world, exotic places.

Still no word from Shel. I think she must be busy, or can't get on-line.

There is extra pizza for her here at home. I hope she comes back from the bush this week before my travels. In any case, I am prepared to send Vancouver postcard to Shel and my sister. The two lost souls in my life.

I did get an email from my son. He has a bass guitar now and he and a pal have started a band called "Rahal". It reminds me of my high school music career. Although short lived, it was fun. I also played the bass.

June 12, 2008 Thursday

A spectacular late spring day here on the island of the red cliffs. The day was made even more special with the lingering crystal of the long near-solstice twilight. Most of the tourist facilities are open, including our little local lobster stand. I saw very few off island license plates diving home from Pennsylvania (home?). In fact, I saw nearly no out of provincial plates on the trans-Canada.

I came home with email to answer and dirty laundry. I was most impressed with my trucks performance. Other than some tire problems and less than eco-friendly gas mileage, the blazer ran well. I need some tune-up components and bushings, and a belt change-all relatively minor maintenance issues soon easily remedied. I gave Joey my classic high school Garcia fishing rod and a book, "On the Road", by Kerouac. Both seemed fitting gifts.

I spoke to a group out of Vancouver who need an office manager for a Saskatoon start-up. That was certainly unexpected, and interesting. Leigh Floyd called. We spoke mostly of our families and some about working together in the desert back in the mid-90's. Leigh worked for me in several capacities out west. We struggled through his divorce and he moved with a new lady to Michigan. It is good to have found him again-we laughed over field projects he managed for me, including drilling a well in the middle of Grand Avenue, in Phoenix. He reminded me another staffer, Mike Decker was there. I had forgotten him. He was a canoe enthusiast on white water and a guide. He studied geology at ASU and worked for me briefly. That night, Leigh ordered pizza for the crew. No one would deliver pizza to the middle of the street, so he had to go get it. Ladies from nearby "gentleman's club drove by. One threw a pair of panties at Mike Decker. It was the first I had heard that.

Later, Mike Decker was found murdered out in the desert far from Phoenix. The crime was never solved.

I will try and complete the story about son's graduation trip. There is much more to tell. Now I must concentrate on business. Put writing on hold for a little while.

Close of Fishing with my son

It has been very hot on the mainland, far from my island home. We started out on our camping and fishing journey just after my son's high school graduation. I think it was a tough journey for him, but he is stolid. Here, at the econolodge in Mifflintown, along the Juniata of my youth, we conclude our journey. We started at Towanda and our traditional place of islands on the Terrytown side of the river. It was hot, we swam, cooked what we had. The fish were uncooperative with the heat. But we were greeted by every type of bug bird or Snake. Joey awoke one morning to report a giant black snake at the tent door. I explained black racers are harmless and he should be glad to meet the snake.

We decided after all to drive to Westline, and Kinzua Creek. Here we camped in an amazing thunderstorm in the Allegheny plateau, among ever increasing oil wells. But Thundershower run was clean and cold-we caught trout for dinner. I made a heart healthy meal of old bacon, butter sticks, potatoes, onions, and wild brook trout.

This morning after the rain, flocks of butterflies visited us. Mostly yellow swallowtails, but some others as well. It was very stirring.

Joey told me Homet's ferry carried some bad memories of his childhood. It was here, long ago, we played with the children in the river of my youth as the power struggle of the divorce raged. I was unaware of my now grown son's feelings.

We promised to find new places to camp and fish. Now my journey takes me back to work, at the request of my son. I am not sure where that will be. But college bills loom.

I am most anxious in any case to return to "my island". It will be nice to be cool again and see my sea.

Last day of May 2008 Prince Edward Island

It was a glorious day today. The bitter ever present winds were gone , with bright sunshine. I still continue with phone calls from headhunters and others seeking my lifetime of experience with the world and its troubles. The other day, I visited Shel at the Cape Traverse cottage. We had burgers on the grill-a real treat! It had been a while. We walked to the nearby red-cliff ed beach and almost held hands. It is a most lovely part of the world I will separate from in only a few days. We had seen a hummingbird at the cottage window. It was a brief glimpse of a gossamer buff and black spectre. Later, while painting a deck, Shel said the bird was back. It came to her, hovered, came close, and brushed her hand, giving goosebumps and a feeling of awe on the dew-soaked, pine scented red cliff beach. My mother told me once that if she returned to this world after death, she would be a hummingbird-one of nature's most amazing creations.

My profound feelings for this amazing young woman , my wife are moving, passionate, and truly sad. No two people could be closer. But in this unfair world, other pressures often drive our individual decisions, our Christian free will.
Ill say here what I wanted to write to her on one of our unique pink "hoggnotes", little note papers that are in the shape of a happy little hog. (We always spell the endearment with two G's).

I was thinking of one theory of creation. That the universe began as a tiny spot in a great unfathomable explosion in a time untold billions of years ago. Then it kept growing and the universal mind that is God made all this by organizing the chaos. Then, some say, at some time in a nearly infinite future, it will all collapse and return to a singular tiny dot. Then it begins again, an infinite cycle, I wanted to tell Shel that I would love her forever, until the universe recreated itself, and we would be together forever, as God intended.

But I thought that in reality, I need to say nothing. My mother said, before she died to me, that all we need to say we have said between us. I truly miss my mother, the finest person I have ever known. I will love Shel until the universe reinvents itself-forever.

Wednesday, May 30, 1979 New Britain, Pennsylvania

11:00
Low 59
Hi 70+

Humid with sun early today. Thunder showers at night. School was O.K., but hard. Its getting tougher, hang in there.Carol came over after dinner again, and we played with the skunk. Later, got ice cream and watched T.V., most is O.K.

Modern note:

I haven't talked much about my pet skunk of this period, Ollie (The same name as my Dog). Ollie I found one late evening around 1977 in a ditch along Dave Spulin's driveway, by his shop. It was a rural area near the old place of New Galena, near Chalfont, Bucks County. Well there was a tiny furball, mayby as big as a credit card, but black and white in the ditch. I said stop, a baby skunk!-of course, everyone said I was nuts. But I knew litter runts often got left behind. Skunks emerge and forage for food after having their litters in late February or March, then may return to hibernation. This little one looked brand new on this late April day when I found her. I just jumped out, held her tail down (even infant skunks can squirt). The skunk infant had been abandoned, so I had to raise it. I found out what I could and prepared a milk mixture with sugar, and the tiny creature grew. We found a very reluctant veteriarian in Hatboro to remove her scent glands. I confirmed then it was a female skunk. He said he made a mistake and would never do it again-as the sack burst and the chemical (a sulphur based alcohol) is pretty smelly! I also made a mistake, in line with jarring salamander eggs (essay). It is best to leave nature be.

I raised my infant skunk by hand with a doll bottle and my milk mixture. She grew fat and happy, to be about 10 pounds. I will say that she was much like a cat with a good soul. This animal had no negatives, and was mink soft and extremely clean. She always smelled a little musky, loved chicken and cheese, and was most affectionate. Often I would play with her on the lawn out front. She would stamp her feet, and dance. She would sit on my lap and preen and look towards the T.V.Turn around in a mock spray and stomp again. Her long hair was amazing, At some point skunks were raised for fur called "Alaskan sable". That is profoundly sad.

I was very involved with work after college. Carol decided to run off, and Ollie still lived in the garage under the old desk where she had made a place. One day, in winter, I went to start my race car 'Cuda. The skunk awoke and tried to run outside. Later, mom found her cold on the floor. I was away, but mom said she was dead and discarded her furry soft body. I later asked if perhaps she just was in and out of hibernation, as it was winter. Mom told me her heart stopped. In hibernation, many people mistake no heart sounds as death. It is possible Ollie died later and not after my violently loud racecar awoke her. I will never know. She was gentle, clean, affectionate, and fun. She was also, like all skunks, almost blind. I miss her as a pet and being. My little black and white puffball.

Later, a new girlfriend Susie Keck would buy me a skunk as a pet. The animal was wild and viscious, and bit. The beautiful creature should have been released into the wild, where skunks have few enemies but cars and owls. The secret of Ollie was that I raised her by hand with tremendous love. There is a human message in Ollie the skunk. The way we are treated when we are very small carries forever. Gentle fun kindness, or viscious wild violence Or now attention at all. The missing of these simple natural facts is why I never went into Psychology (I didn't?). Hence I worry about my children in my business-forced absences.

Sunday, May 27 1979 New Britain, Pennsylvania

Low 55
Hi 60

Cool and mostly cloudy with some wind. Slept late. Carol and I went with Dave (Spurlin) to North Wales, also to the mall and looked around. We ate in McDonald's-wasn't too good. Later, prepared a cooked outside meal-Carol's sister (Dorothy Padden Trosky) and boyfriend Bill came over. Dave didn't want to stay, so he left. Afterwards we found Dave at Buck's shop and we went to Montgomeryville to see a movie "Alien", but we couldn't get near the place. We sat outside the 309 drive-in in audio range and watched it. OH GOD! Was good!
Especially for the price. Took a short jog later. Ate well today.

Modern note on this period in History:

Dave Spurlin would often cruise around with us. I had met him when I was 14 as he raced his dirt bike at the track behind my house-I got into bikes too and we became nearly lifelong friends. Usually we went around in his blue hot rod Chevy van, which only in 2006 was finally retired due to metal fatigue. Today married, in high school and long after he never had a girlfriend, and like everyone else, was in love with Carol's best friend Chris Brady. She actually lived in a junk yard and Dave was a parts buff motorhead like me. They never did really get together. Carol's sister Dottie reminds me a lot of Rhonda. She was nice, and a computer person in on the ground floor. She had been a teacher in Manheim, near Lancaster. We were all close. She had married a pharmacist (Trosky) young (I forget his first name).

They had an ugly divorce and I remember being around 17 and moving her furniture out as hubby looked on. It was said he couldn't just not help himself to his own drug supply. I really don't know the details. When we visited Manheim, I would leave the girls alone and walk around the town. I recall going into an empty unlocked church and just staying there a long time, playing with the piano. Later when Dottie started to date, our approval of the boyfriend was always required-she had some real winners. But Bill mentioned was a nice professional guy.

He had an old Ford Falcon Sprint, a 1966 I think (a small square car with a V8 engine). Since I was "Mr. Mustang" he often consulted me. We took them on a trip to the spooky Pitcairn estate (Bryn Athyn?) on really bad roads. It was there said the famous and reclusive heirs to the PPG fortune lived. We glimpsed a "Glass house", where genetically defective children supposedly were kept. They said the family always intermarried and that was the problem. I am not sure about that, but along with 'The one armed man", and the "Axe Man" tales told then in Bucks County ,it made for nice romantic scary trips with teenage girls. Those were the days. The private security guards in jeeps would always chase us away, so there was something up.

Dottie had been a teacher and was rumored to have had an affair with a student, a strapping high school kid I met. It was very odd. It was after that she got divorced, left teaching and went into computers. All rumors as far I am concerned, but something sure got fouled up.

I was every bit as close to Carol's family as to Shel's. Rhonda's family was always tense and effected, except for R's sister Janice (Urffer), who was a nice, beautiful Christian blond woman who had 13 kids. Mostly to annoy their mother, Myra Rosenberger. Just this past year I would attend the same Baptist church in Perkasie that Janice Urffer and her kids used to attend, during my "EIC" period in Ottsville. R's other sister Wendy was pretty nice and is an Air Force NCO. The youngest sister Sonia was a very pretty blond who mom doted on. I always thought they had been meanest to Rhonda. R was forced to leave home at 18 and marry Louis Sinoff. Sonia had a paid arts education and stayed home until Mr. Right came along.Talk about being surrounded by the German's-it never seems to end!

Janice had won a high school summer scholarship to study Spanish in South America. When she refused to return after being overwhelmed by an ardent Latin lover,the family created a story to get her home. They made it up that mom, Myra Taylor Mercer Rosenberger, was dying. Janice came home and was essentially kept under lock and key, as it was recounted to me. Janice never forgave her mother for that. Myra also always resented having children. She made her husband and children pay for it. This sometimes caused dastardly deeds to be committed, which I will not recount here out of courtesy. I think my own Rhonda resented the children , too-with tragic consequences, that are sadly I am afraid, permanent.

But I am a bit sad that when these break-ups occur you lose so much family. I guess the same things happen when people die. Why my friendship with Dottie ended when Carol took off with Greg Kolasa, or why my own kids cousins are alienated, and why the very close bond I had with Shel's sister Kim Becker (Kim calls me "Hogg"), the nieces, nephews and the really great times I had in the Rockies with Shel's brother's and the Konig's, shooting and fishing must be lost is an unknown. I guess it is the change in status-but it sure is sad.

Tuesday May 27 2008 Summerside, PEI

Well today was very windy and cool, then it was warm enough for a bit to don the shorts and a tee shirt again. I took a walk and caught a few minutes of rays from warm sun. Its now about 6:30 PM and dark cool clouds and raindrops loom.As usual I can open the big old windows for air, but only for a short time. I will be going back to Moncton for a second meeting tomorrow. I am to be there at 2 o'clock. The environmental manager will be in town and David wants me to speak to him. I also had a call from a lady in Calgary about a sales position with an equipment manufacturer. It sounded somewhat interesting too.

Regarding my trip to Phoenix around the ninth of June, I still have no confirmation. The principal involved will be on vacation with his kids at Disney World until the sixth. With some luck, Joey and I will be in a campground somewhere by then-I told the headhunter in Scottsdale to try and set everything up and I will contact him on the sixth or seventh. I have concerns about all this travel at this particular moment, but it is time to push forward.

Shel was here last night somewhat an unexpected surprise. I didn't make enough food for her to have dinner, which made me a bit sad. She was here a long time working on her computer issues. She needs to send her story to a writing contest by Friday. My printer is out of ink, and I can't tell her that until tomorrow. If she comes in before Friday, I may be able to one of these other printers working. She called her mom last night. Apparently, Kim is having a lot of problems with Denise. There are some bad problems in all that. I feel we were really able to help and support Kim when we were out west. Now she is at the mercy of Shel's unforgiving family-a feeling I have known well almost 18 years.

So tomorrow should be interesting. After that, it will be time to ready all for the trip south. I am waiting for the final decision when I talk to Joey Thursday and finally see Shel Saturday. There are still a bunch of details to work out. Its been quite a while since I have been off island and out of Canada. I really miss it just thinking about it. It reminds me of when I left New Britain to go to Harrisburg to work so long ago. But I have been travelling my whole life. The road usually renews me. Maybe, finally, this will be the last difficult trip.

Monday June 18 2007

I just found this third or "missing diary" of the three I have written here on PEI. It was in my brown business bag. Well not much written between then and now, but there are many audio recorded journals. I won't rehash the past. Today is a cool, breezy day. After a glorious "hot" sunny day yesterday. I went with Shel to her beach job at Chelton Beach. We argued like savages, but it was actually a good day. She works for Maggie of the "Steak Pit" here in Summerside, summers at the little canteen concession at the Chelton Beach Provincial Park. Its a cute job, as a college kids summer job. She makes hambergers and hot dogs, fries, chicken, ice cream, etc.

The beach is nice there and we made a deal I'll go with her a few times a week-not all the time so we don't get on each others nerves. I haven't been able to get the kids on the phone and no new email. Ill try again tomorrow.

Modern note:
The summer was really nice here on PEI in 2007. The times I went to volunteer at Chelton to cook at the canteen reminded me of jobs I had after high school. It was a lot of fun. We both got great tans, and had some quality time together. I had hoped to get back down south, but spent the whole summer on the island. Shel had just gotten back from Colorado, where she attended nephew Kelby Konig's high school graduation. She flew out of Manchester, NH and we had a nice but short little roadtrip back to the island. We ferried across Lake Champlain to Vermont and it was a lot like old times. I wish it could have been a longer trip, but Shel had to be back here for work.

Friday May 25 1979

Clear
72 degrees

Partly cloudy today with some evening showers. School was OK- it was a long week-I'm glad its Friday! Carol and I got gas somehow the mustang's door was dented. I think out in front of my house. Could have been kids. John (Gustafon) will fix it next week. Watched T.V. late, good programs- "Hot Rod", "Vanishing Point".


Modern note: This period is during the final full year of college for me. I changed my major from Biology pre-med to Geology as I fell in love with the subject, professors, fellow students (only about 15 total) and the field trips. I loved Biology, but there was a coldness to my fellow Bio students on their way to med school. All except one, my good friend Bea Beatrix H. White. She was a brilliant Quaker girl from Morton, Delaware County. She became a doctor and researcher and I lost touch with her around this time. We should have been a couple, but I was totally loyal to my childhood sweetheart and neighbour Carol Padden. We spent all of our free time then at car shows, working at John "Gus" Gustafson's auto body in Ottsville, PA, or cruising around. Most of my social life then involved the car show circuit, when I was a high level Shelby Club member and judge.