Rainy Saturday

Alexis in Harrisburg June 2008


I am sure it is time to place a new entry here. Although I do have my audio recording back, and as usual have stopped writing in my paper journals. It can be a bit discouraging, having tens of thousands of words to transcribe from old text-letters, journals, manuscripts unfinished and finished. I have felt that all the paper will become obsolete-or already has.

The only really permanents records will be left on-line, on sites such as this. So, as a painfully slow typist you see my dilemma!

I have had some good chats with the kids. Both really want to move in with me. But this is impractical as I am in Canada and they have school duties down south. My relationship with Shel remains strained. We were doing fine, but have degraded due to silly arguments and bad tempers over the past few weeks.

It seems my work future may be Alberta. The money is good and there are lots of things to clean-up and investigate. If nothing seems appropriate, it may be that with great sadness I may have to leave my island to be closer to the children, who now are really missing dad. The decision will be made quite soon I think.

Tourist season is in bloom here and its been quite warm The harbour water is now bathtub warm and although shallow makes for a nice swim only a short walk away. How does one leave such a place. Only family and money issues can do that. Otherwise it would be madness to leave here.

So pressures mount and decisions must be made. In the mean time I will try to continue writing, although in an awful slump now, and visit the beach. Life could be much worse than that.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Son and daughter June 2008 at Bradley Drive House, Harrisburg, PA

It has only been a week after my last entry here. The week seems like a short lifetime as so much has happened during this eventful period. First, let me say it was a glorious summer day here on the island paradise. I grow to appreciate a life here on PEI more, especially when I leave it. I flew to Vancouver on Sunday to discuss some environmental opportunities with an excellent firm there. I stayed at the "Terminal Club". and was treated professionally and cordially.

The CEO is a really nice, truly self-made man of simple roots on the prairie.

They need an office administrator and salesman for a planned office in Saskatoon, in support of

a large mining project in the potash deposits. Not really my area of expertise, but having dealt with mining issues in Arizona, and even Pennsylvania long ago, I have no fear of the work. In fact, its a great upside potential and the future for now is in work based in the rapidly increasing price of commodities like potash for fertilizer and oil.

I flew on Westjet from Char'town to Vancouver, with a brief stop at Toronto's Pearson airport. PEI is a real garden from the air. It was nice to see the snow-capped Rockies and the coastal range of BC. I had never flown coast to coast in Canada before. It was my first flight entirely within my adopted country. If the job is a go, I will need a work visa. I will stay at the company apartment in Vancouver for training, and perhaps write a corporate health and safety manual, then go to Saskatoon to a new life and a new world. If not, I will continue to interview, and enjoy the island until my final destination for this cycle is demonstrated.

I tried to call the kids but got no answer today. Shel cancelled our dinner date, as it was her bosses birthday. I have fallen low on her long list of more important social priorities. So be it. I told her she can visit me in Vancouver, or Saskatoon, and she seemed excited. She is very much stranded on the island. I have also felt that way, but the trip and camping with son helped, and our dinner with Alexis and Katie.

I sent a postcard and letter to my sister from BC. She is probably still waiting for me to take her to Island Beach. Perhaps I can still do that if I can take a break this summer. In any case, I worked all day today sending the BC company documents about references and credentials. I realize I have lost touch with some close friends, co-workers and old bosses over the years. I am seeking my old mentor Dr. Lane Schultz from Dunn Geoscience days as a reference. So many people are disappeared or even dead. I supplied Dan Salzler as a reference. We worked together in various capacities for years and he has always been a good job reference for me, and a loyal friend.

Jim Gossweiler, my real true apprentice, Steve Rose, and Leigh Floyd are the remaining references I have used. The hiring manager wanted names of old managers, which can be a challenge when you have been self employed or a sub-contractor to a nameless Army unit for so many years.

The position is really almost the perfect one. The Halifax job was good too, but I think the job out west has better potential.

I was pretty lucky on confirming my credentials and getting them to BC today, even though most are misplaced or lost in the 2 moves. The folks at AIPG, Nevada, and Alaska all helped, knew me, and submitted confirmation. With hope Ill get an offer this week and plan on closing this place up and moving to Vancouver for the duration. Otherwise on the island I stay and continue the search...all in God's hands now.

My little audio recorder broke, so I will have to get another one next week. I miss having that and making the audio diary entries. I oft wonder who will ever listen to them anyway. I do find it useful to go back over the years, hear my tone and concerns, the growth, pains, and triumphs. But it does force me to write more. And maybe now I can finish the biography with a good conclusion, a full circle story ending with my son a man in college, and his father being there, and there for his sister. I can only hope!

June 18, 2008 Wednesday

Cool and drizzly today, with a little weak lightning. As last year, June is a cool gray month on the island of unused beaches.

I am actually feeling a bit guilty about not starting to write the entire tale of my holiday fishing and camping with my son. The project will require much more time and inspiration than I have right now. My trip notes survive, although sparser than I had hoped. A time in Appalachia, reliving my own youth. I mean the trip we took was a representation of my trips long ago, rod in trunk seeking fishing places and the colour of ruralia. We accomplished that. But the story begs far deeper for both of us in its revelations. The simplicity of the camp, stream, my old truck-camp food. Swimming the broad river, and fresh trout for a tailgate dinner in a remote place. It will wait a few days more to be told, as business looms.

I am flying to Vancouver Sunday to meet with a group that may need my skills in their enterprise. Two days in a new city, on a new harbour, far from this home. But yet not that unfamiliar, as my times in Seattle and San Francisco I suspect similar. We will see.

Talked with David at the Air force wing a long time tonight about the states and Canada. He is a retired teacher, and had many insights. We discussed the arcane "Aroostook" War. The conflict involving the Maine border long ago.

It was pizza day here, and I had many phone calls. It seems my draw into the world of commodity related environmental issues is where I am going. Well, its a new world. A lot of the problems I solved as a young man seem to be in good hands with the younger generation. I should be exuberant at the new chance-a new world, exotic places.

Still no word from Shel. I think she must be busy, or can't get on-line.

There is extra pizza for her here at home. I hope she comes back from the bush this week before my travels. In any case, I am prepared to send Vancouver postcard to Shel and my sister. The two lost souls in my life.

I did get an email from my son. He has a bass guitar now and he and a pal have started a band called "Rahal". It reminds me of my high school music career. Although short lived, it was fun. I also played the bass.

June 12, 2008 Thursday

A spectacular late spring day here on the island of the red cliffs. The day was made even more special with the lingering crystal of the long near-solstice twilight. Most of the tourist facilities are open, including our little local lobster stand. I saw very few off island license plates diving home from Pennsylvania (home?). In fact, I saw nearly no out of provincial plates on the trans-Canada.

I came home with email to answer and dirty laundry. I was most impressed with my trucks performance. Other than some tire problems and less than eco-friendly gas mileage, the blazer ran well. I need some tune-up components and bushings, and a belt change-all relatively minor maintenance issues soon easily remedied. I gave Joey my classic high school Garcia fishing rod and a book, "On the Road", by Kerouac. Both seemed fitting gifts.

I spoke to a group out of Vancouver who need an office manager for a Saskatoon start-up. That was certainly unexpected, and interesting. Leigh Floyd called. We spoke mostly of our families and some about working together in the desert back in the mid-90's. Leigh worked for me in several capacities out west. We struggled through his divorce and he moved with a new lady to Michigan. It is good to have found him again-we laughed over field projects he managed for me, including drilling a well in the middle of Grand Avenue, in Phoenix. He reminded me another staffer, Mike Decker was there. I had forgotten him. He was a canoe enthusiast on white water and a guide. He studied geology at ASU and worked for me briefly. That night, Leigh ordered pizza for the crew. No one would deliver pizza to the middle of the street, so he had to go get it. Ladies from nearby "gentleman's club drove by. One threw a pair of panties at Mike Decker. It was the first I had heard that.

Later, Mike Decker was found murdered out in the desert far from Phoenix. The crime was never solved.

I will try and complete the story about son's graduation trip. There is much more to tell. Now I must concentrate on business. Put writing on hold for a little while.

Close of Fishing with my son

It has been very hot on the mainland, far from my island home. We started out on our camping and fishing journey just after my son's high school graduation. I think it was a tough journey for him, but he is stolid. Here, at the econolodge in Mifflintown, along the Juniata of my youth, we conclude our journey. We started at Towanda and our traditional place of islands on the Terrytown side of the river. It was hot, we swam, cooked what we had. The fish were uncooperative with the heat. But we were greeted by every type of bug bird or Snake. Joey awoke one morning to report a giant black snake at the tent door. I explained black racers are harmless and he should be glad to meet the snake.

We decided after all to drive to Westline, and Kinzua Creek. Here we camped in an amazing thunderstorm in the Allegheny plateau, among ever increasing oil wells. But Thundershower run was clean and cold-we caught trout for dinner. I made a heart healthy meal of old bacon, butter sticks, potatoes, onions, and wild brook trout.

This morning after the rain, flocks of butterflies visited us. Mostly yellow swallowtails, but some others as well. It was very stirring.

Joey told me Homet's ferry carried some bad memories of his childhood. It was here, long ago, we played with the children in the river of my youth as the power struggle of the divorce raged. I was unaware of my now grown son's feelings.

We promised to find new places to camp and fish. Now my journey takes me back to work, at the request of my son. I am not sure where that will be. But college bills loom.

I am most anxious in any case to return to "my island". It will be nice to be cool again and see my sea.

Last day of May 2008 Prince Edward Island

It was a glorious day today. The bitter ever present winds were gone , with bright sunshine. I still continue with phone calls from headhunters and others seeking my lifetime of experience with the world and its troubles. The other day, I visited Shel at the Cape Traverse cottage. We had burgers on the grill-a real treat! It had been a while. We walked to the nearby red-cliff ed beach and almost held hands. It is a most lovely part of the world I will separate from in only a few days. We had seen a hummingbird at the cottage window. It was a brief glimpse of a gossamer buff and black spectre. Later, while painting a deck, Shel said the bird was back. It came to her, hovered, came close, and brushed her hand, giving goosebumps and a feeling of awe on the dew-soaked, pine scented red cliff beach. My mother told me once that if she returned to this world after death, she would be a hummingbird-one of nature's most amazing creations.

My profound feelings for this amazing young woman , my wife are moving, passionate, and truly sad. No two people could be closer. But in this unfair world, other pressures often drive our individual decisions, our Christian free will.
Ill say here what I wanted to write to her on one of our unique pink "hoggnotes", little note papers that are in the shape of a happy little hog. (We always spell the endearment with two G's).

I was thinking of one theory of creation. That the universe began as a tiny spot in a great unfathomable explosion in a time untold billions of years ago. Then it kept growing and the universal mind that is God made all this by organizing the chaos. Then, some say, at some time in a nearly infinite future, it will all collapse and return to a singular tiny dot. Then it begins again, an infinite cycle, I wanted to tell Shel that I would love her forever, until the universe recreated itself, and we would be together forever, as God intended.

But I thought that in reality, I need to say nothing. My mother said, before she died to me, that all we need to say we have said between us. I truly miss my mother, the finest person I have ever known. I will love Shel until the universe reinvents itself-forever.

Wednesday, May 30, 1979 New Britain, Pennsylvania

11:00
Low 59
Hi 70+

Humid with sun early today. Thunder showers at night. School was O.K., but hard. Its getting tougher, hang in there.Carol came over after dinner again, and we played with the skunk. Later, got ice cream and watched T.V., most is O.K.

Modern note:

I haven't talked much about my pet skunk of this period, Ollie (The same name as my Dog). Ollie I found one late evening around 1977 in a ditch along Dave Spulin's driveway, by his shop. It was a rural area near the old place of New Galena, near Chalfont, Bucks County. Well there was a tiny furball, mayby as big as a credit card, but black and white in the ditch. I said stop, a baby skunk!-of course, everyone said I was nuts. But I knew litter runts often got left behind. Skunks emerge and forage for food after having their litters in late February or March, then may return to hibernation. This little one looked brand new on this late April day when I found her. I just jumped out, held her tail down (even infant skunks can squirt). The skunk infant had been abandoned, so I had to raise it. I found out what I could and prepared a milk mixture with sugar, and the tiny creature grew. We found a very reluctant veteriarian in Hatboro to remove her scent glands. I confirmed then it was a female skunk. He said he made a mistake and would never do it again-as the sack burst and the chemical (a sulphur based alcohol) is pretty smelly! I also made a mistake, in line with jarring salamander eggs (essay). It is best to leave nature be.

I raised my infant skunk by hand with a doll bottle and my milk mixture. She grew fat and happy, to be about 10 pounds. I will say that she was much like a cat with a good soul. This animal had no negatives, and was mink soft and extremely clean. She always smelled a little musky, loved chicken and cheese, and was most affectionate. Often I would play with her on the lawn out front. She would stamp her feet, and dance. She would sit on my lap and preen and look towards the T.V.Turn around in a mock spray and stomp again. Her long hair was amazing, At some point skunks were raised for fur called "Alaskan sable". That is profoundly sad.

I was very involved with work after college. Carol decided to run off, and Ollie still lived in the garage under the old desk where she had made a place. One day, in winter, I went to start my race car 'Cuda. The skunk awoke and tried to run outside. Later, mom found her cold on the floor. I was away, but mom said she was dead and discarded her furry soft body. I later asked if perhaps she just was in and out of hibernation, as it was winter. Mom told me her heart stopped. In hibernation, many people mistake no heart sounds as death. It is possible Ollie died later and not after my violently loud racecar awoke her. I will never know. She was gentle, clean, affectionate, and fun. She was also, like all skunks, almost blind. I miss her as a pet and being. My little black and white puffball.

Later, a new girlfriend Susie Keck would buy me a skunk as a pet. The animal was wild and viscious, and bit. The beautiful creature should have been released into the wild, where skunks have few enemies but cars and owls. The secret of Ollie was that I raised her by hand with tremendous love. There is a human message in Ollie the skunk. The way we are treated when we are very small carries forever. Gentle fun kindness, or viscious wild violence Or now attention at all. The missing of these simple natural facts is why I never went into Psychology (I didn't?). Hence I worry about my children in my business-forced absences.